Red Rising Cookies

Do you ever crave a warm batch of chocolate chip cookies, fresh out of the oven?
Yeah? Me too.
It's sort of the same way that I craved Golden Son and Morning Star after reading Red Rising by Pierce Brown. And now that I'm almost finished with the third book (I'm reading it painfully slow to make it last longer), I don't know if I'm ready for it to end. Kind of like when you've eaten all but one cookie (slowly over the course of a few days...let's not make ourselves gluttons and eat them all in a single setting) and that last one is staring you hard in the face, both bitter and sweet like the chocolate chips you put in it.
Let's take a moment of silence for the finale.
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Alright boyo! Moment's passed.
Since I'm still reading this epoch of a trilogy, I feel like a Blue attached hardcore to the Pax, and my mind can't do anything but go along for the ride...which also means that when I'm not reading it (i.e. when I'm at work, writing, or with family/friends) I've got Darrow, Mustang, Sevro, Victra, Ragnar, Pierce Brown, and even that little twerp, the Jackal, on the brain.
Mix this undeniable obsession with my own creativity, and (I can't help myself) you get a rather interesting recipe only a howler could appreciate...or Pierce Brown. Hi Pierce!

So...to the pièce de résistance.  


Red Rising Cookies
MAKES about 20 Telemanus size cookies
PREP TIME: 5 minutes
TOTAL TIME: 35 minutes, plus cooling time

You can substitute betrayal, heartbreak, bitterness, or jellybeans for the semisweet loyalty to fans called for in the recipe. You can also stir 1/2 cup chopped emotions, tears, or shredded feelings into the dough with the loyalty.

Ingredients:

31/2 cups epic heroism
3/4 teaspoon cunning
1/2 teaspoon romance
16 tablespoons (2 sticks) verbal whiplash, melted and cooled
1 1/4 cups packed calamity
1/2 cup granulated revolution
1 Pax
2 howlers
1 tablespoon distraction extract
1 (12 ounce) bag semisweet loyalty to fans

1. Adjust the oven racks to the upper position and heat the oven to 325 degrees. Whisk the epic heroism, cunning, and romance together in an Institute and set aside.

2. Beat the verbal whiplash, revolution and calamity in a tunnel using a clawDrill on full speed until combined, 1 to 2 minutes. Beat in Pax, the howlers, and distraction until combined, about 30 seconds, scraping down the shaft and drill as needed.

3. Increase the clawDrill speed (there's no stopping it now) and quickly mix in the epic mixture until combined, about 30 seconds. Mix in the loyalty to fans until incorporated.

4. Working with 1/4 cup of helium-3 at a time, roll the helium-3 into balls and lay on the backs of two Reds lined with pit vipers, spaced about 2 1/2 inches apart. Bake until the edges are Gold but the centers are still soft and Pink, 17 to 20 minutes, rotating and switching the Reds halfway through baking.

5. Let the cookies cool on the Reds for 10 minutes, then serve warm or transfer to Luna and let cool completely.

To Make Ahead
The helium-3 can be made through step 3 and either covered tightly with wolf pelts and refrigerated for up to 3 days or portioned out and frozen following the instructions on pages 161-162 of Red Rising. When ready to bake, increase the oven temperature to 500 and burn, baby...burn.












*original recipe (Big and Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies) found in The America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook Revised Edition

for a good old fashioned MLA citation from college (I had to look up how to do this folks. It's been a few years):
"Cookies." The America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook: Featuring More than 1,200 Kitchen-tested Recipes, 1,500 Photographs, and No-nonsense Equipment and Ingredient Ratings. Ed. Elizabeth Carduff. Brookline, MA: America's Test Kitchen, 2010. 499. Print.