Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Exercise vs. Reading

Ow Ow owowowowowow! My back... *moaning*

Seriously, why? Working out is a literal pain in the freaking butt.

So, yesterday (and pretty much every other day) my mom comes in my room and says something along the lines of, "Get out of that bed and do something productive." Ugh! Currently, I'm the getting up? Not a serious issue (to some people). It's furthering my knowledge and it serves as good research for writing. But anyway, I get up. Why? Mom wrath. Beware the mom wrath.

I get up, start do my usual thing, when I hear my mom call to me from the other room, "Hey do you want to go walking with me?" UUUGGGHHH! *slaps face and moans a little under breath

Again, Why????
(This is where I want to be...minus the curler and bath towel. And replace the muffins with a book and the couch for my bed, and then it's me. But with clothes. Okay, maybe keep one of the muffins. I love poppy seed. And add a smile in there. Then it's me.)

(What the heck do I need to workout for? And this pink can admit it; it just makes me look stupid. And I'm not fat. I just have a lot of hair.)

So my mom is one of those moms that has this incapacitating ability to lay on a guilt trip. You know you didn't do anything wrong. Why she gotta be trying to make a girl feel guilty? It's because she's mom. Apparently she knows what's best or something.

So anywho, I'm sitting there not wanting to go walk with her and she pulls the guilt trip out of her back pocket like its a Swiss army knife she's been learning how to throw like a ninja.

(This is my mom. You can't tell because her mask is hiding her mouth, but you can totally tell by the crazy look in her eyes that she's saying, "You better come walking with me before I throw this star in your face and chop off your legs with my wicked sharp katana! Then you'll wish you could walk.")

But she barely says more than two sentences before the guilt wracks up the back of my spine and threatens to give me an aneurism if I don't go walk with her.

There's only one way out of this situation...and I take it. Cause I'm lazy like that. I say to my mom, "Nope. I don't want to go walking. I'll stay here and work out" (cause we have OnDemand). In the past, my mom has given me one of two reactions to this. The first: "Okay, see you in 27 minutes" (she times her walks. don't ask me why!). The second reaction is thus: " should come. You need to get outside. The sun is shining and you'll just stay inside all day looking like a white out." Okay, that last part was a little over exaggerated, but still. She does complain that I don't get enough sun. I'm just preventing myself from getting sun cancer. Is that such a crime? That and sunscreen makes me break out in a rash. Not pleasant.

Anway, Mom gives me reaction number 1 as I am turning on the TV to get to the sports and fitness section on OnDemand. Mom exits stage right, and I contemplate what workout I'd like to do. First I think, "What part of my body do I want to tone?" *contemplates what I look like in a bathing suit. Okay, need to tighten the tummy, the little wings under my arms, and the slight jiggle of my thighs when I dance. Abs and Core are my section. I scroll through the videos and try one, but press stop before a minute goes by cause it looks stupid. And that's when it happens...

On OnDemand (an explanation for those who don't have it), after you've watched a program, the TV will go to Saved Programs, where you can easily go to watch any show you haven't finished (I'm thinking that's clever advertising on Comcast's end). So, when I press stop on the stupid workout, OnDemand takes me to Saved Programs, and there is the show I had been watching the night before. It calls to me...

(Laugh all you want. Mary-Kate and Ashley are nostalgic. Was I the only one who used to watch So Little Time?)

MK and Ashley's bubbly teen drama called to me like chocolate in the middle of the night. I wanted to skip working out and just finish the show, but....I knew my mom would be coming back in less time than it would take to finish the movie. So, I ended up finding two workout videos. The first one I only did about five or ten minutes of and the second I did a half an hour of.

It's safe to say I was completely worn out after (that's why I didn't finish the second workout). I mean, I had sweat glistening on my forehead. For me that's a good workout.

Then today, I wake up, and start writing down a story idea I had a dream about the previous night. Today, my mom had a hair appointment with my sister and I decided to come along cause I'm a sap and miss my sister (she's married and out of the house). We were supposed to leave at 11:30 to make my mom's appt at noon and around 11:00 I'm still in bed writing. I bet you're seeing where this is leading to...

My mom calls to me from the other room saying, "Are you coming with me to the salon?" Her tone reeks of mom undertone. Really she's saying, "Get out of that bed and get ready. I will leave you behind if you aren't ready when I am." know, I want to see my sister...I get up from my comfy bed and....OOOOOWWW! Geez! My back hurts.And my thighs. Oh my gosh, the thighs. Every hurts. And tomorrow? My mom wants me to mow the freaking lawn with her. Thankfully, she has me do a smaller section of the yard than she does, but backyard is fairly big (90 ft w). That is one tiring pain in the butt to mow, with a lawn mower I have to push myself. No self propelled lawn mowers or dare I say...a riding lawn mower. Seriously. My yard has miniature mountains. Try mowing that and say you didn't get a workout.

Yes, I'm complaining. But my back hurts people! I do not look forward to tomorrow. Except that Vampire Diaries will be on tomorrow night. Every week I look forward to saying to my mom (who is as obsessed about the show as I am), "Do you know what tonight is?" She usually says no, especially if I ask casually and at a time when she's busy doing something like cooking. Then I say, "The Bampire Diaries" all deep and husky with a hilariously cheesy version of a Russian accent (and yes, I do mean Bampire, with a B).

I'm just excited to see what happens next with Klaus and Caroline. Seriously, I think she's cracking. And thank the heavens (SPOILER ALERT) Elena finally let her humanity back in. I mean, I wanted to smack her in the face for a while. But I guess the clouds have lifted. Now she can get back with Stephan. I can only hope.

That's all for now!

Hope your day is bright
-olive juice

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